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the art of losing myself in bringing you praise

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* * *
啊,我的心切慕你,如鹿切慕溪水。
惟有你是我心所愛,我渴慕來敬拜你。

你是我的力量盾牌,我靈單單降服於你。
惟有你是我心所愛,我渴慕來敬拜你。

Together in this place of worship
Your greatness we proclaim
We stand as one in giving You
All glory and acclaim

To You our hearts are open
To You our hands we raise
Come take the place
Of honor in our lives

Emmanuel
Our God is with us
Prince of peace
Mighty one
The ever-living God

See the praises of our savior
Rise to open skies
With the dawning of redemption
Your glory will arise
For You alone are worthy
Here in Zion you are praised
Our Lord and King
Forever You will reign

Emmanuel
Our God is with us
Prince of peace
Mighty one
The ever-living God

* * *
Menschliches Elende
(Von Andreas Gryphius)

Was sind wir Menschen doch! Ein Wohnhaus grimmer Schmerzten,
Ein Ball des falschen Glücks, ein Irrlicht dieser Zeit,
Ein Schauplatz herber Angst, besetzt mit scharfem Leid,
Ein bald verschmelzter Schnee und abgebrannte Kertzen.
Dies Leben fleucht davon wie ein Geschwätz und Schertzen.
Die vor uns abgelegt des schwachen Leibes Kleid
Vnd in das Toten-Buch der großen Sterblikeit
Längst eingeschrieben sind, sind uns aus Sinn und Hertzen.
Gleich wie ein eitel Traum leicht aus der Acht hinfällt
Vnd wie ein Strom verscheußt, den keine Macht aufhält,
So muß auch unser Nam, Lob, Ehr und Ruhm verschwinden.
Was itzund Athem holt, muß mit der Luft entflihn,
Was nach uns kommen wird, wird uns ins Grab nachzihn.
Was sag ich? Wir vergehn wie Rauch von starken Winden.

beziehungsweise

that for me to live is Christ; and to die is to gain
this life, its strife, and the storms, blast the night
that blessed peace, this breeze, here His hand, that just might
take away this - dissatisfied imbalanced strand of pain.

* * *
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”- Colossians 3:17

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." - Colossians 2:6-7

I give thanks, I give You thanks, I give You thanks for all that You are, do, will do - everything - THANK YOU.


* * *
I said I would praise You, and I will praise You.
* * *
* * *
 Forgive me for forgetting who You really are. More than a part of my life, my time, my thoughts; you are really everything. And before You even take away, my heart will say, to the God who gives and takes away, "Blessed be Your name."

Even this time.


* * *

 Lamentations 3  

1 I am the man who has seen affliction
         by the rod of his wrath.  

2 He has driven me away and made me walk
         in darkness rather than light;  

3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me
         again and again, all day long.  

4 He has made my skin and my flesh grow old
         and has broken my bones.

5 He has besieged me and surrounded me
         with bitterness and hardship.  

6 He has made me dwell in darkness
         like those long dead.  

7 He has walled me in so I cannot escape;
         he has weighed me down with chains.  

8 Even when I call out or cry for help,
         he shuts out my prayer.  

9 He has barred my way with blocks of stone;
         he has made my paths crooked.  

10 Like a bear lying in wait,
         like a lion in hiding,  

11 he dragged me from the path and mangled me
         and left me without help.  

12 He drew his bow
         and made me the target for his arrows.  

13 He pierced my heart
         with arrows from his quiver.  

14 I became the laughingstock of all my people;
         they mock me in song all day long.

 15 He has filled me with bitter herbs
         and sated me with gall.  

16 He has broken my teeth with gravel;
         he has trampled me in the dust.  

17 I have been deprived of peace;
         I have forgotten what prosperity is.  

18 So I say, "My splendor is gone
         and all that I had hoped from the LORD."  

19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
         the bitterness and the gall.  

20 I well remember them,
         and my soul is downcast within me.  

21 Yet this I call to mind
         and therefore I have hope:  

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
         for his compassions never fail.  

23 They are new every morning;
         great is your faithfulness.  

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
         therefore I will wait for him."  

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
         to the one who seeks him;  

26 it is good to wait quietly
         for the salvation of the LORD.  

27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke
         while he is young.  

28 Let him sit alone in silence,
         for the LORD has laid it on him.  

29 Let him bury his face in the dust—
         there may yet be hope.  

30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
         and let him be filled with disgrace.  

31 For men are not cast off
         by the Lord forever.  

32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
         so great is his unfailing love.  

33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
         or grief to the children of men.  

34 To crush underfoot
         all prisoners in the land,  

35 to deny a man his rights
         before the Most High,  

36 to deprive a man of justice—
         would not the Lord see such things?  

37 Who can speak and have it happen
         if the Lord has not decreed it?  

38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
         that both calamities and good things come?  

39 Why should any living man complain
         when punished for his sins?  

40 Let us examine our ways and test them,
         and let us return to the LORD.  

41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands
         to God in heaven, and say:  

42 "We have sinned and rebelled
         and you have not forgiven.  

43 "You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;
         you have slain without pity.  

44 You have covered yourself with a cloud
         so that no prayer can get through.  

45 You have made us scum and refuse
         among the nations.  

46 "All our enemies have opened their mouths
         wide against us.  

47 We have suffered terror and pitfalls,
         ruin and destruction."  

48 Streams of tears flow from my eyes
         because my people are destroyed.  

49 My eyes will flow unceasingly,
         without relief,  

50 until the LORD looks down
         from heaven and sees.  

51 What I see brings grief to my soul
         because of all the women of my city.  

52 Those who were my enemies without cause
         hunted me like a bird.  

53 They tried to end my life in a pit
         and threw stones at me;  

54 the waters closed over my head,
         and I thought I was about to be cut off.  

55 I called on your name, O LORD,
         from the depths of the pit.  

56 You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears
         to my cry for relief."  

57 You came near when I called you,
         and you said, "Do not fear."  

58 O Lord, you took up my case;
         you redeemed my life.

* * *
 “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!”- Proverbs 15:23
* * *

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees
and I try to pray
In the silence
I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time


It's been so long since then, eons as well since I last listened to this song. Amazing yet altogether unsurprising how things have changed since 4 years ago. We're almost at 4 years. I say it like it's a national holiday. Haha, we, God and I, are at 4 years. 

On this autumn night, with cold winds, swirling orange leaves and a heart full of withering things, I give You my heart anew. Thank You that when everything is eventually coaxed to lie asleep beneath a sheet of white, You prepare the way for new life to burst forth in due time, a billion times more splendid then the things we had to let go off. 


* * *
 "and in that space of time he saw three shooting stars, all of which I missed"
* * *
 Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
Cos' nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Draw me close to You
And bring me again

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

Help me know You are near...

* * *
 We stood by a pond that winter day,

And the sun was white, as though chidden of God,

And a few leaves lay on the starving sod,

  —-They had fallen from an ash, and were gray.

 

Your eyes on me were as eyes that rove

Over tedious riddles solved years ago;

And some words played between us to and fro-—

  On which lost the more by our love.

 

The smile on your mouth was the deadest thing

Alive enough to have strength to die;

And a grin of bitterness swept thereby

  Like an ominous bird a-wing...

 

Since then, keen lessons that love deceives,

And wrings with wrong, have shaped to me

Your face, and the God-curst sun, and a tree,

  And a pond edged with grayish leaves.

-Thomas Hardy

* * *
Many a time I've chosen to leave a blank or just put a one-liner to express some kind of intense emotion/perspective/opinion.

But this time words genuinely fail me. 

* * *
  Two are better than one, 

       because they have a good return for their work:

 10 If one falls down, 
       his friend can help him up. 
       But pity the man who falls 
       and has no one to help him up!

 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. 
       But how can one keep warm alone?

 12 Though one may be overpowered, 
       two can defend themselves. 
       A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclessiates 4:9-12

* * *
 In the autumn on the ground,
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

It's my caution not the cold
there's no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, I'm singing for the strangers about you
don't keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart
* * *
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty



if I can't sing like this for You to bring the rain
* * *

Jacob wrestled with God all night long )

 

 

 

27 The man asked him, "What is your name?"
      "Jacob," he answered.

24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." 

      But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
 

 27 The man asked him, "What is your name?"
      "Jacob," he answered.

 28 Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

 

 29 Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."
      But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel (meaning 'face of God'), saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."

 

I have nothing more
Than all you offer me
There is nothing else
That's of worth to me

 


 


* * *
 perhaps cos' at the end of the day, words are cheap;
very very very cheap
                                    dirt 
cheap.
* * *
Ere on my bed my limbs I lay,
It hath not been my use to pray
With moving lips or bended knees;
But silently, by slow degrees,
My spirit I to Love compose,
In humble trust mine eye-lids close,
With reverential resignation,
No wish conceived, no thought exprest,
Only a sense of supplication;
A sense o'er all my soul imprest
That I am weak, yet not unblest,
Since in me, round me, every where
Eternal Strength and Wisdom are.

But yester-night I prayed aloud
In anguish and in agony,
Up-starting from the fiendish crowd
Of shapes and thoughts that tortured me:
A lurid light, a trampling throng,
Sense of intolerable wrong,
And whom I scorned, those only strong!
Thirst of revenge, the powerless will
Still baffled, and yet burning still!
Desire with loathing strangely mixed
On wild or hateful objects fixed.
Fantastic passions ! maddening brawl!
And shame and terror over all!
Deeds to be hid which were not hid,
Which all confused I could not know
Whether I suffered, or I did:
For all seemed guilt, remorse or woe,
My own or others still the same
Life-stifling fear, soul-stifling shame.

So two nights passed: the night's dismay
Saddened and stunned the coming day.
Sleep, the wide blessing, seemed to me
Distemper's worst calamity.
The third night, when my own loud scream
Had waked me from the fiendish dream,
O'ercome with sufferings strange and wild,
I wept as I had been a child;
And having thus by tears subdued
My anguish to a milder mood,
Such punishments, I said, were due
To natures deepliest stained with sin,—
For aye entempesting anew
The unfathomable hell within,
The horror of their deeds to view,
To know and loathe, yet wish and do!
Such griefs with such men well agree,
But wherefore, wherefore fall on me?
To be beloved is all I need,
And whom I love, I love indeed.


(The Pains of Sleep - Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

* * *

I am the maker of the Heavens
I am the bright and morning star
I am the breath of all Creation
Who always was
And is to come

I am the One who walked on water
I am the One who calmed the seas
I am the miracles and wonders
So come and see
And follow me
You will know

I am the fount of living water
The risen Son of man
The healer of the broken
And when you cry
I am your savior and redeemer
Who bore the sins of man
The author and perfecter
Beginning and the end
I am

I am the spirit deep inside you
I am the word upon your heart
I am the One who even knew you
Before your birth
Before you were

Before the Earth (I am)
The universe (I am)
In every heart (I am)
Oh, where you are (I am)
The Lord of love (I am)
The King of Kings (I am)
The Holy lamb (I am)
Above all things

Yes, I am almighty God your father
The risen son of man
The healer of the broken
And when you cry
I am your savior and redeemer
Who bore the sins of man
The author and perfecter
Beginning and the end
I am

 

 

And definitely never one so outrageously daring in its proclamation of love.

* * *

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